THE ART OF WAITING
My Journey Through Friendship and Patience
Waiting. An unbearable ordeal. The uncertainty of what you are waiting for gnaws at you. The anticipation becomes a source of intense anxiety. The minutes seem to drag on…and on…and on…But then there are the sayings, “good things come to those who wait” and “patience is a virtue.” While these ideas might seem simplistic in a world that moves at lightning speed, they offer a sense of peace.
So, with that in mind, does the waiting game ultimately prove worthwhile? When it comes to friendships, I think these wise sayings reveal a profound truth, highlighting the challenging yet rewarding journey of waiting for genuine connections.
As a child in elementary school, I struggled to forge friendships on my own. I remember one night, I was crying to my mother because I was so desperate for a friend in the neighborhood to play with since I wasn’t allowed to be near some of the kids who were mean to me on my street. In her quest to help me, she turned to the only place she knew to find a connection. Facebook. It was a valiant effort, but it makes me laugh wondering if the Facebook post is still out there.
The anxiety of waiting for new friends was compounded by the fear of the unknown. My mind would race with countless scenarios, each more unsettling than the last. The endless waiting, with its accompanying self-doubt and worry, created a feeling of purgatory. The uncertainty of whether or not I would ever find a true friend only intensified the discomfort. To experience these strong feelings of emotion as a child in elementary school with undiagnosed ADHD, it was torturous. I felt like I was the problem. Trying to understand my frustration, my parents always came to the rescue and encouraged me into various activities—swimming, soccer, church youth group, Girl Scouts, summer camp—hoping to provide me with opportunities to connect with others. These activities brought a glimmer of hope as I forged some of my foundational friendships with whom I am still close with today.
I started to open up more in middle school, slowly learning to navigate the complex world of puberty and friendships. There were moments of heartbreak—being left out of activities or feeling excluded by friends I thought I was close with. The sleepless nights spent with my friends, believing we would be inseparable forever, were bittersweet. It was a cannon event nonetheless. But soon I learned that patience is a hard-earned lesson, and each disappointment taught me more about the value of enduring friendships.
The emotional toll of waiting for a genuine friendship was significant. It eroded my confidence and tested my resilience. The longing for a stable and loving friend group made every delay feel like an eternity. But this struggle, painful as it was, was also a powerful teacher. It taught me to appreciate the worth of true connections and the importance of perseverance.
Despite the agony of waiting, the eventual rewards have been profound. As I progressed through high school and then into college, I began to see the fruits of my patience. By the time I reached UNC, I had developed a circle of friends who stood by me through thick and thin. The friendships I had longed for, those that seemed so elusive in my younger years, were finally within my grasp and in my heart.
Joining various on-campus organizations provided me with an incredible opportunity to expand my social circle. This past summer, I traveled abroad in Ireland with a fabulous group of individuals with whom I shared my first European travel experience. The joy of being surrounded by friends who share my passions and interests is a testament to the power of patience. My inner child, once longing for connection, is now healed and fulfilled, giggling and squealing at my happiness with my forever friends.
Reflecting on my journey, I want to reach out to my younger self and anyone who may resonate with a message of hope: "Good friends, and many good things, will come to you in the future. The hardest part is the waiting, but in the end, it will all be worth it. You will be happy, surrounded by so many people who love you, and you will never be alone." The agony of waiting, while excruciating, was a small price to pay for the deep and lasting friendships I now cherish. The patience I learned along the way has made the eventual connections all the more rewarding. Hug your friends closely, because you’ve waited all your life to be with them and they waited all their life to be with you.
